25 Things about....ME!

1. I love artichokes....in fact, I am eating a cold one sans dipping sauce now. 2. I cannot stand silence. 3. I find comfort in watching favorite movies and TV shows over and over again and fast forward through parts I dislike. 4. My favorite adult drink currently is a CoronaRita. blend a margarita pour it in a bucket, flip in a corona. TA - DA! I thrilled and amused my co-workers at a post work happy hour with this contraption a few weeks ago. It is delightful. 5. I am prettysure I have an unhealthy addiction to Pinterest 6. I hate doing laundry with a passion. 7. I love to be cuddled up in bed watching a documentary on Netflix on a weekend morning. 8. I love to watch reality TV while I clean, I think the drama unnerves me. 9. I check people.com and E! atleast 5 times a day. It's a sickness. 10.I look forward to my weekly happy hour with my friends and discussing our crazy crazy lives, planning our next adventures and laughing so hard that everyone stares. Best times ever. 11. My job is at times way beyond stressful and insane and yet, there is something extremely addicting about it. Plus I have awesome co-workers. 12. Modern Family literally makes me laugh out loud even if I am alone. 13. I'll never understand people who are intentionally malicious to those around them. 14.I will stick-up and defend the people I love no matter at what cost and don't understand when people don't return the favor. 15. I love remembering my past and good times, but always always look forward to the future. 16. I am proud to be the aunt of the two most adorable babies who are precious miracles. I cannot wait to watch them grow up, and cannot wait until they can walk and talk and I can play with them, get them hopped up on sugar, take them on a Toys R US shopping spree and send them home covered in ice cream and close to a total meltdown to my brother. 17. I dream of a FRIENDS, Full House, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Nanny, Saved by the Bell, Step by Step, Family Matters, Gilmore Girls reunion movie/show. Any of these would suffice...I am not picky... But until then, I will happily settle for Girl Meets World. 18. I secretly love the Kardashians. Well except for Kim. I don't like her... at all. I also love a little diddy called Sister Wives. Fascinating. Oh and then there is those Real Housewives... 19. I usually have to set my alarm a full 40 minutes before I need to get up to allow for snooze time. 20. Pickles and Cheese are my favorite snacks. 21. M&Ms are the best thing ever. 22. I was always against Kindles/e-readers etc, until I discovered this device on my phone. in. love. 23. If there is a good song on in the car, I will drive around the block or circle the parking lot until my sing-along is over. 24. All you need to do to cheer me up or make amends is to say the word "pedicure" preferably with the sentence " do you want to go get a pedicure?" and even better: "do you want to go get a pedicure? my treat" 25. I am thrilled to be crossing off major things on my bucket list in just over a month: New York, Opening Day at Yankee Stadium VS the Red Sox, Cooperstown, Boston, Salem, Fenway Park and JFK Presidential Library....cannot. wait.

3 and a half months.

It is amazing to me how much my life has changed and evolved over these past several months. I feel like I have been living in a foggy haze trying to keep up with my daily life, when there are days all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. In what feels like a year, has really only been 3 and a half months. Now that the shock has worn off the reality has set in. Nights are the worst, when the quiet sets in and my thoughts are vulnerable. There are times I want is to be alone, and then others where I can hardly stand the thought. I am lucky that I have friends who will take me in at a moments notice. I feel so lucky in so many ways because we had time to prepare and plan, and we knew that this horrible day would eventually come. I feel like it is selfish of me to be sad and upset on the outside when so many others do not get to prepare for death as my family and I did...and then I feel guilty that I am not outwardly grieving maybe the way I should be. After many (and one pretty severe) panic attack, I realized that I shouldn't worry about what people are thinking, saying or doing, and I that I shouldn't feel guilty... I should just well...feel because holding it all in certainly isn't helping me. When I am feeling the tears I am learning to let them fall, I am learning to take that moment and grieve in it, even if it does happen in the car, at work, or out with my friends. Grieving doesn't have a time table, and I don't think that we really ever get over losing a loved one, especially a parent. As baseball season approaches, I am finding a sense of loneliness as I don't have my Dad to banter back and forth with about how bad the Mariners are. That is a void in my life nobody will ever be able to fill. He would have loved to see Griffey inducted into the M's HOF and I will be there that day in his honor. In the last years of his life, we talked about taking a trip to New York, to see Yankee stadium, to travel to Cooperstown, and sit in Fenway park. We wanted to see a Yankee/ Boston game up close and personal. In July, during my last visit with him, the last game we watched was Yankees/Red Sox. He said when he got better, we would go see a game. As I nodded, I knew that when I went, he would not physically be with me, but in spirit, and so I am going. This April. For opening day, I will be at Yankee Stadium. I will travel to Cooperstown, and while I will not be able to see a game at Fenway, I will go and touch the green monster and stand there in wonder. I will take his ashes, and he will be there with me. I can't think of anything better. A new chapter in my life has started. I now feel like an adult dealing with grown up issues. I wish my life were different in so many ways, but I have to remember that everything happens for a reason. I have started seeing answers to the whys. As time moves forward, there will be more answers to the whys I am sure. I've learned a lot about the people around me. I am so incredibly thankful to my friends, I truly don't even know what I would have done without them these past few months. Now I look forward to my pilgrimage in honor of my Dad and our love of Baseball.